Sometimes I just don't know how to respond to things people say.
One of my favourite conversation stoppers is the question "Did you get your hair done? Now, if you respond yes, and they say "Oh", or say nothing further, what do you think your next response should be?
How about, "Is that a new dress? - same problem.
Following on from those is the combination question and statement "Teryl? that's an unusual name." I used to say "yes", then I got a bit irritated somewhere in my early 40's, and said, with as nice a smile as I could muster "Not to me, I've had it for over 40 years", now I go with just the smile.
Johannesburg haters are my next challenge. I have lived in Jozi for most of my adult life, I met my husband there, had my two wonderful children, have some truly amazing friends, and have built a challenging and interesting career, I am really happy in our vibrant, economic centre of the country.
I wonder how it is different from any other inland city eg Paris, Madrid or Rome. OK, they do have lots of history, not to mention they are closer to the coast, but still... The fact is that not too many people like having their home and choices knocked. I can get over sensitive, though. Last year in London a group of men were asking me what I thought about our president, about the country in general, and were bombarding me with questions. I got on my high horse, and told them that I wasn't prepared to defend my country to all of them, it was a great place to live, although, of course, there were problems.
To a man, they looked sad and all assured me that they wished they could return to SA. I was a little embarrassed....
Back to the conversation stoppers "You look tired / ill / sad" or "It can't be that bad". To the first, I try not to feel tired the moment I am told I look that way, and have worked hard at not disagreeing with the second.
One of my dear friends has shared that she struggles with "That outfit is so flattering on you", because it raises questions in her mind about the rest of her wardrobe, not to mention why she needs to wear flattering clothes!
Are there any that drive you crazy? Would love to hear from you.
Links, References and Notes
Accsys PeoplePlace Talent Management
Business Connexion: Accsys
*10 Listening Skills
email: [email protected]
twitter: @TerylSchroenn
